More Songs than you can shake a stick at plus the tunes!

And if you don't recognise what you are listening to at the moment it is, of course, the theme to Captain Pugwash.

If you are so young that you have never heard of Captain Pugwash, ask your mum or dad.

Probably you already know If You`re Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands so I`m not going to include the words here. However, using the same tune:-

If you`re happy and you know it pick your nose

If you`re happy and you know it roll it round
If you`re happy and you know it flick it off
If you`re happy and you know it pick it up
If you`re happy and you know it take a bite
If you`re happy and you know it do all 5

You can also do If you`re Daffy and You Know itwhich is the same as the normal version but with the actions and descriptions mixed up. That is you would clap when singing about clicking your fingers.




The Motorcycle Policeman`s Got a Puncture in his Tyre

Click here for the tune: John Brown's Body

The motor cycle policeman`s got a puncture in his tyre
The motorcycle policeman`s got a puncture in his tyre
The motorcycle policeman`s got a puncture in his tyre
So he mended it with chewing gu-u-um

Chewy chewy chewy cheww eey
Chewy chewy chewy cheww eey
Chewy chewy chewy cheww eey
And he mended it with chewing gu-u-um

The tune to this is John Brown`s body. Each time it is sung through, a word is dropped out and replaced with a sound and an action as follows :-

The motor cycle - vroom vroom (like revving the throttle
on a motorbike)
Policeman - nick nick ( make hand like a duck beak, open
and close it on head)

Puncture - pssssss (pointy/stabby motion with index
finger)
Tyre - high pitched wooooooo (each hand points out half a
circle in front of you)
Chewing - like you`re stretching the gum from your mouth)



The Lapper Dance

Click here for the tune: The Muffin Man

Sung to the tune of do you know the Muffin Man this is guaranteed to kill of a few of the audience.
Basically the same verse is sung through a few times but with your hands on a different part of you neighbour`s anatomy. Everyone needs to be in a big circle doing the actions to the person on either side of them. Always good for a few injuries.


Can you do the Lapper Dance, the Lapper Dance, the Lapper Dance
Can you do the Lapper Dance, the Lapper Lapper Dance

Verse 1 - arms around neighbours shoulders
Verse 2 - arms around neighbours waist
Verse 3 - hands on neighbours knees
Verse 4 - hold neighbours ankles



The Fly Song

Everywhere you see * you make a loud raspberry noise. You need to train your audience before singing this song so that their noises are short and to the point.

There was a little fly flew into a grocers store, and he * on the ceiling and he * on the floor.
He * on the bacon and he * on the ham and he * on the head of the little grocer man.

So the little grocer man said before this day is done, I will go and get my spray and I`ll go and get my gun.
But before the grocer man could count from one to ten, the fly flew in the door and * on him again.


Rule Britannia

Rule Britannia with marmalade and jam, 5 Chinese crackers in your earhole
Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang! (accompanied by 5 claps)

Sing it through 5 times dropping one cracker, and so one clap, every time. I will guarantee that someone will get it wrong.



Grey Squirrel

Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel wag your bushy tail (hands like a squirrel, wag your tail)
Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel wag your bushy tail (repeat actions)
Put your nuts between your toes (put nuts between toes)
Then you rub your shiny nose (rub your nose)
Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel wag your bushy tail (repeat actions)

I know this sound silly bit if you get a few people from the audience to be squirrels it goes down very well. Anyway squirrels are cute.



Three Blind Jellyfish

Three blind jellyfish
Three blind jellyfish
Three blind jellyfish sitting on a log

Actions:- Three - 3 fingers up
Blind - cover eyes
Jellyfish - wobble hand

A very easy song. Go through it losing one jellyfish at a time. Volunteers make good jellyfish and they must ham up their disappearance as much as possible by rolling and diving off the log. You can also bring them back one at a time to much applause.



Alive, Alert, Awake, Enthusiastic

Click here for the tune: If You`re Happy and You Know It

I`m alive (hands on head)
Alert (hands on shoulders)
Awake (hands crossed on chest)
Enthuse (slap thighs)
Eeass (clap hands)
Tic (click fingers of both hands)

Repeat this twice then the last bit is :-

I`m alive, alert, awake
I`m awake, alert, alive
I`m alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic

All accompanied by the appropriate actions. An excellent item if you can remember the order of things. I never can so I have it on a piece of card on the floor in front of me. Its so subtle the punters never notice (At least I don't think they do???).



The Elephant in the Attic
(Brought back to our Area by Mr Andrew Falvey who attended the world Jamboree in Australia as the leader of the Welsh Contingent)

What is that noise I hear (cup hand over ear)
Up in the attic (point up)
It is an elephant (make a trunk with your arm)
Cycling round and round (cycling action)
It is an elephant (trunk)
So chique and elegant (interlace fingers, palms down, hold over left hip)
With one tail here (trunk)
And one tail b'there (make a tail with your arm)

Repeat this through, losing one line at a time and replacing it with the action until there is no speaking at all. Then go through it once very fast with words and actions.



Green Grow the Rushes Oh

Click here for the tune

A good song for a larger audience when accompanied by the following actions. Appoint a group of singers to do the actions for each verse. So, for example, you would have 5 people doing the actions for the verse `5 for the symbols at your door`. It is likely that some people will have to do more than 1 action during the song.

I`ll sing you one oh, green grow the rushes oh
What is your one oh?
One is one and all alone and never more shall be oh. (This is the camp fire leader)

Two two the lilly white boys, cloth ed all in green hoho (2 volunteers to dance around)
Three three the ri i i i vals (a gentle punching action)
Four for the gospel makers (hands like a book opening)
Five for the symbols at your door (clap in time with words of the verse)
Six for the six proud walkers (walk on the spot)
Seven for the seven stars in the sky (point up)
Eight for the April Rainers (shimmery hand type effect)
Nine for the nine bright shiners (index fingers into cheeks)
Ten for the ten commandments (like Moses writing on a tablet)
Eleven for the eleven who went to Heaven (flap arms like an angel`s wings)
Twelve for the twelve apostles (hold hands as though praying)

Alternatively, make up your own actions.



BINGO

Click Here for the tune

There was a man who had a dog and Bingo was his name oh
B I N G O,
B I N G O
And Bingo was his name oh.

All you do is sing it through a number of times, dropping one letter of the dog`s ame every verse and replacing it with a clap until all you have is 5 claps. You can also change it to there was a beaver had a Kit, anything really that you consider suitable for your audience e.g. There was a Scouter had a can, and Lager was it`s name oh.
L A G E R etc


Alouette

Click here for the tune

Chorus

Ooooh alouette, jaunte allouette
Alouette jaunte plumerai

Oh I love her stringy hair, how I love her stringy hair
Leader - Stringy hair (audience repeats) - then into chorus

Oh I love her bloodshot eyes, how I love her bloodshot eyes
Bloodshot eyes (audience repeats) stringy hair (audience repeats) - then chorus

After this, the rest of the verses are as follows with the young ladies catalogue of charms getting longer and longer each time around. You may want to elongate your Oooooooooooh at the beginning of the chorus as well.

broken nose
2 buck teeth
double chins
hairy bum
nobbly knees etc etc


Yell

Ham and eggs :- split the audience into 2 groups. The leader says the lines to each group in turn and
they reply very loudly. Everyone shouts the first and last lines as loudly as possible.

All - Haaaam and eggs, Haaaam and eggs
First group - I like mine done golden brown
Second group - I like mine done upside down
First group - Flip `em
Second group - Flop `em
First group - Flip `em
Second group - Flop `em
All - Haaaam and eggs




The Court of King Caractacus

This is one guaranteed to impress your audience if you can keep breathing right the way through. It has just one line, which is introduced bit by bit through the song and repeated 4 times per verse. The first verse is :-

Theladies of the harem of the court of King Caractacus were just passing by (repeated 4 times)

This bit is then added to every time around as follows, and the whole thing repeated 4 times per verse.
That is why you need lots of breath especially for the last verse.

The noses on the faces of
The boys who put the powder on
The fascinating witches who put the scintillating stitches in the britches of

The last verse, which is not repeated ,is:-

Now if you want to take some pictures of the fascinating witches who put the scintillating stitches in the britches of the boys who put the powder on the noses of the faces of the ladies of the harem of the court of King Caractacus, then you`re too late, cos they just passed by!

Although this songs was made most famous by the greatest entertainer in the world Rolf Harris (see his website at The Rolf Harris Fan Club Website and my little tribute page) he actually got it from a old scout campfire song book.



Yell

Middlesex or Winnie the Pooh

Basically this is the same as Oggie Oggie Oggie with the words changed. Split the audience into 2 groups or the leader can speak and the audience repeat, whatever rattles your chain.

Middle middle middle,sex sex sex,
Middle middle middle, sex sex sex
Middle, sex,
Middle, sex
Middle middle middle, sex sex sex.

Or try

Winnie winnie winnie, Pooh Pooh Pooh etc??




They Were Only Playing Leapfrog

Click here for the tune: John Brown's Body

Intentionally a  very confusing song with lots of different verses.

One hedgehog hedged up the hedge, the other hedgehog hedged down (3times)
As the end of the day drew near.

Chorus

They were only playing leapfrog,
They were only playing leapfrog,
They were only playing leapfrog
As one hedgehog hedged up the hedge, the other hedgehog hedged down.

All the other verses basically follow the same pattern and are introduced in degrees of complexity :-

One grasshopper jumped right over the other grasshopper`s back

One pink poodle pampered his paws, the other pink poodle paused

A busy buzzy bumble bee was busily buzzing by

One slow worm slid up the sluice, the other slow worm slid down

A spider espied a spider astride another spider?ack

One bed bug bled black blue blood, the other bed bug bled blue



Cool and Creamy

Click here for the tune: Alouette

This needs 2 of you with no sense, and 2 cans of shaving foam.

Chorus
Cool and creamy we like cool and creamy, cool and creamy that`s what we like best.

Would you like some on your head?
Yes I`d like some on my head!
On your head,
On my head (spray the one who`d like it on their head)

It then carries on alternating the sprayer and the sprayee and different parts of their bodies. Have
fun! 



He Crashed His Hawker Hunter Down from 40,000 feet

Click here for the Tune: John Brown's Body (yet again)

There are loads and loads of versions to this song. This is ours.

He crashed his Hawker Hunter Down from 40,000 feet

He crashed his Hawker Hunter Down from 40,000 feet

He crashed his Hawker Hunter Down from 40,000 feet

He crashed his Hawker Hunter Down from 40,000 feet

And he aint gonna fly no more

Chorus
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
And he aint gonna fly no more ore ore

Second line can be replaced with "with a finger up your backside and a bullet in your eye"

The rest of the verses are as follows:-


They scraped him off the runway like a lump of Raspberry jam
They put him in an envelope and took him home to mam
She put him on the mantlepiece for everyone to see
They took him down the local and they sprinkled him with beer (sad verse)
The next day in the NAAFI they had raspberry jam for tea




Whoops la la la la

Click here for the tune: Pop Goes the Weasel

A very easy song. If you know the tune to Pop Goes the Weasel, then you can do it. Split the audience into about 3 groups, and they la la to the afore mentioned tune. At the end the last 3 syllables are not la la`d but are replaced with a very loud

Whoops LA LA LA LA with a bit of a Mexican wave type leap in the air. After a couple of practices, start it off as a round. The next group starts when the previous group is on their second line as follows.

La la la la la li la la,
La la la li la la (group 2 start when group 1 start this line)
LA la la la la li la la
WHOOPS la la la la!



Oh You`ll Never Get to Heaven

Click here for the tune

Leader = L
Audience response = A

L Oh you`ll never get to Heaven
A Oh you`ll never get to Heaven
L In an old Ford car
A IN an old Ford car
L Cos an old ford car
A Cos an old Ford car
L W`on`t get that far
A W`on`t get that far

Chorus (All)

Oh you`ll never get to Heaven in an old Ford car
Cos an old Ford car won?et that far
I aint gonna grieve my Lord no more

I aint gonna grieve my Lord (or I aint gonna grieve I aint gonna worry?
I aint gonna grieve my Lord (or I aint gonna leave this world in a hurry?
I aint gonna grieve, my Lord no more.

All the other verse follow the same format.


In a ping pong ball, cos a ping pong ball is much to small

On a Boy Scouts knee, cos a Boy Scouts knee is too wobbly

In a Girl Guides bra, cos a Girl Guides bra w'on`t stretch that far

If your name is Ron, cos the Lord don`t want no more Rons in

On a Jumbo jet, cos the Lord aint got no runways yet

In a biscuit tin, cos a biscuit tins got biscuits in

With a fat Girl Guide, cos the pearly gates are not that wide

On roller skates, cos you?skate right past the pearly gates

If you get to Heaven, before I do, then dig a hole and pull me through


There are loads of verses to this song, variations of the same verse and new ones are made up all the time often specific to one event such as a group camp.



The Quartermasters Store

Click here for the tune

There were mice mice, eating all the rice
In the stores (In the where?)
In the stores (Say it again)
There were mice mice eating all the rice
In the Quartermaster`stores (behind the doors)

Chorus

My eyes are dim I cannot see
I have not brought my specs with me
I have not brought my specs with me. (or I left my specs in the lavatory)

This is another song where the rest of the verses follow the same format and again there are lots of
them, with new ones made up all the time


Gravy gravy, enough to sink the navy
Cheese cheese, that brought you to your knees
Soup soup, supposed to feed the group
Chip chips, as big as battleships
Rats rats, as big as alley cats
Ventures Ventures wearing plastic dentures
Bread bread, as hard as ??ead
Skip skip, looking a bit of a drip
Scouts scout, chewing on some sprouts


The list is endless????



I'm a little Beaver

Tune: I'm a little Teapot

I`m a little beaver short and stout
Here`s my tail and here?y snout
If you pull my tail you?hear me shout
Hey I`m a Beaver, CUT THAT OUT!

Feel free to add appropriate actions as you see fit.



My Bonnie and some of her Variations

Click here for the tune

My bonnie lies over the ocean
My bonnie lies over the sea
My bonnie lies over the ocean
Oh bring back my bonnie to me

Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me

With this version you can get everyone to stand up or sit down or put their hands up in the air or down,whatever you want really, every time a word starting with B is sung. So on the first bonnie you stand up,and on the second you sit down etc. You can then make it as complicated as you want by splitting the audience in 2 aand having them do the opposite actions to eachother.

Other versions include

My bonnie has tuberculosis
My bonnie has only one lung
She coughs up a bloody solution
And rolls it around on her tongue

Rolls it, rolls it,
rolls it around on her tongue her tongue
Rolls it, rolls it,
rolls it around on her tongue her tongue



Boom Chikka Boom

This is a repeat after me type thing, the audience copying the leader.

This song has a beat, and it goes like this (slap thighs and clap hands till end of song)
Are you ready? Allright, here we go

I say, boom
I say boom chikka boom
I say boom chikka rakka chikka rakka chikka boom
Oh yeah
Uh Huh
One more time ? style

Then repeat but in a funny voice/accent. For example high or low pitch, sexy, posh english, French,
Australian, Dracula, deep voice, Chinese??.

10 in the Bed

There was ten in the bed, and the little one said, roll over roll over,
So they all rolled over and one fell out, and banged his head and began to shout,
Please remember, to tie a knot in my pyjamas.
Single beds are only made for...

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9
Repeat over and over dropping one number each time around until there's no one left in bed.



Damper Song

Oh you push the damper in (thrust arm in with index finger pointing)
And you pull the damper out (pull it back)
And the smoke goes up the chimney just the same (point finger up with swirly motion)
Oh you push the damper in and you pull the damper out
And the smoke goes up the chimney just the same

Chorus

Star ar of the evening (point up)
Shining on the cookhouse door or or (slam the door)
Star ar of the ev e ning (point up)
And the smoke goes up the chimney just the same (point finger up with swirly motion)

Song is repeated several times in different styles for different versions. For example the Scout Leaders
style (gut out) Guiders style (loud as you can) sex maniacs style (how do you push that damper in?) sissy
boys version (guess), hippie style (hey man, like you push the damper in dude). Really, you can make it up
yourself.



I`ve something in my pocket

Click here for the tune: John Brown's Body